Anyone else ever noticed the irony of there being a correct way to spell “gibberish”?
(Everything in bold is the title of a song the Beatles recorded)
“Hey Jude, how’s it going? I feel fine, but I haven’t seen you since, like, yesterday! How’s the farm?… Good, good, I’m glad it’s going well, Strawberry Fields Forever! Ha ha ha, yes… What’s that? Oh, you want to come together soon? Sure, in my life, I always have time for my friends, anytime at all, so I’ll be on my way as soon as this rain clears up…. Hey, it’s not my fault you work eight days a week, you should try to be more like me. I don’t care too much for money, because, as I always say, all you need is love, and we all know that money can’t buy you love…. Yeah… mhm… Sure, of course I live in a yellow submarine, we all do…. What do you mean you don’t?!?! That’s like that time you said that Lucy isn’t in the sky with diamonds…. Well, what else do you think all those little sparkly things across the universe are, stars?!?! Seriously, you’re getting better, but this boy is getting a bit frustrated… Fine, with a little help from my friends I can let it be, just don’t let me down again, all right? Speaking of friends, a random blackbird just came out of nowhere, man, and started messing with my new pet… Yeah, it was scary, but I ran at it, yelling “Leave my kitten alone!” and it flew away. Anyhow, here comes the sun, so I’ll drive my car over to help clean up some of that junk that has accumulated in moonlight bay, as you like to call it. See you soon! Bye.”
You all probably have heard the phrase “Better late than never” at least once in your lifetime; if not, well, it’s better late than never to learn it. Either way, a friend recently said it to me, and I was about to reply “yeah, of course, it’s always better late than never,” when I realized something: “What if it was my execution?” :/
Imagine the executioner coming to your jail cell to fetch you; he unlocks the door, binds your hands, and as he leads you to the guillotine, he says, with an apologetic look on his face, “I’m really sorry that it has taken so long to get your execution set up, we’re usually not this sloppy; but, you know, better late than never, right?”
I just realized that dementors live on the energy that they get from feeding on
Just let that sink in
Picture source: http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Dementor
Following the conversation mentioned in this post, me and my friends started (jokingly) trying to see what it would take to commercialize Thanksgiving, because it appears that no one else really has. First we thought of lights, like Christmas and sometimes Halloween, then maybe fireworks like 4th of July or New Year, but they didn’t feel like they’d work. (What would you do with brown lights or fireworks? Yuck.) Even candy, which so many other holidays have monopolized on, doesn’t quite work. But then we struck gold when we thought about Easter: We need to start doing Egg Hunts. Turkeys actually lay eggs (unlike a certain animal I could mention *cough cough*), so it’d be perfect! However, as mentioned before, candy doesn’t fit quite right, so we were stumped until someone thought of another brilliant idea: Pie! (After all, everything is better with pie; don’t pretend that you’ve never heard that before, I’ve heard it at least ONE time before writing this post) (Yes, indeed, that one time was myself saying it, but that still counts!) Thus, the Pie Hunt was born! You could manufacture some sort of egg-shaped pie and special plastic eggs that are Thanksgiving themed, then promote things like Church and State Pie hunts, run Pie Hunts in your own backyard/neighborhood, get it into the newspaper, etc. Do that for several years in a row until it starts catching on. Later, while everyone else is trying to catch up with the Pie Hunt trend, you’ll already be raking it in (whatever “it” is, probably leaves ; ) ), and then you’ll be your own millionaire or something.
Up next: Groundhog’s Day!
What if a millionaire sponsored someone to simply be awesome at stuff? Although, unlike usual, the guy wouldn’t stick to one thing, he would simply spend all of his time finding and learning things that interest him. Then, whenever he’s ready, he’ll perform/teach for his employer. In retrospect, it sounds less like something that someone would pay for and more like something that someone who is extremely rich would do for himself.
Just a little idea I had a bit ago
In a movie about two criminals, one criminal send the date of the next heist to the other using a money based code. They send a check with the date of their next heist in the check’s value (e.g. $6.23 – 6/23/__). At the end of the movie, after pulling off an elaborate heist, one criminal opens his vault to find a that everything is gone besides a check for $4.01. April Fools Day.
Why does Enthalpy minus Uranium equal Sneezing?
Enthalpy’s symbol = H
Uranium’s symbol = U
The Minus sign is a dash –
Enthalpy minus uranium = H-U
If you say that out loud, you say…
After two weeks of being on crutches (fortunately I don’t need them anymore), I’ve had plenty of time to notice how annoying they are. One of the many annoying things is that every time you sit down you have to find somewhere to lean them without them falling over. So I thought, why not make a stand of some sort that you just put wherever you usually sit so that you can always hang your crutches on it? I can’t decide if I’m serious or joking about it, but I’m adding a tag to this post for humor either way. Here’s an illustration to show the idea:
I once played a game called Adventure Quest Worlds (AQWorlds, for short), and one thing that I thought was funny was that many of the knights in the game had funny titles, like Sir Junn, the doctor. So I decided to try to make a list of all the commonly recognized words that could combine Sir and a surname (ha ha) to make a word. I also decided to add suggestions of what the knights personality/job would be, next to a bunch of the names:
- Sir Prize (a prankster)
- Sir Plus (quartermaster or farmer, maybe a grocer)
- Sir Ten (idk, a logician?)
- Sir Vive/Sir Vival (wilderness-guy)
- Sir Cumstance
- Sir Gent (a sergeant, of course)
- Sir Up
- Sir Kull (maybe this guy is a mathematician. Slight name change from “Sir Cle” to “Sir Kull thanks to suggestions in the comments 🙂 )
- Sir Vant (butler, perhaps?)
- Sir Loin (a butcher)
- Sir Cher (a detective)
- Sir Pent (traitor)
- Sir Rogate
Those were all of the names that I could think of without looking anything up, many of which were names from AQWorlds. After making that list I decided to finally look in the wiki for AQWorlds, and found a few more names:
- Sir Pass
- Sir Render (a cowardly fellow)
- Sir Rated
- Sir Kuss
- Sir Junn (a doctor)
- Sir Ver (the name of one of the game’s servers)
I decided that I could find more words than that, so I looked at www.scrabblefinder.com, and I searched for words starting with everything from Syr to Cir, and managed to find a lot more words (although that did take a while):
- Sir Fur (a surfer)
- Sir Real (maybe a madman or mystic)
- Sir Round
- Sir Mount
- Sir Face
- Sir Name
- Sir Vey (A surveyor, or maybe a critic)
- Sir Mise (a thinker)
- Sir Lee (a surly man)
- Sir Tificate (a game show host?)
- Sir Tify
- Sir Ene (a monk)
- Sir Inity
- Sir Mon (a preacher)
- Sir Cumferance, the person who built King Arthur’s Round Table (suggested in the comments)
It was pretty fun to make this list, although I think that a lot of the names would be too weird to use (like Sir Face). Either way, I hope you found this list amusing. Leave suggestions for occupations and/or names in the comments!
Highlighted Post: You have just found the fabled Genie of the Lamp. Do you know The Ultimate Wish?