My Second Santa Theory: Business Santa (my favorite of my four theories)

There are many arguments against Santa being real, so I came up with a few ideas that work out a couple of kinks without being too unrealistic.

So here’s my second theory: What if Santa doesn’t have to give the gifts in person? So long as the gift makes its way to the child, why should he care if he’s the one credited for it? Whether by the parents, a random stranger, or the child finds it lying on the ground, it wouldn’t matter for him. With that, now the gifts no longer even have to come on Christmas! With that, the gifts don’t even have to be free! Getting rid of the when and how the gifts are delivered frees Santa to actually do his job without killing himself when his multistory tall bag falls on him due to a small mishap.

Most kids get toys for Christmas. Since Santa is immortal (or not, if he has children as in my first theory), he has had plenty of time to build himself an empire of toy makers all over the world. He is indirectly in charge of every major toy manufacturer in the world, and has been for long time. Almost every toy a child receives can be traced back to Santa and his unknown monopoly on toys.

As for the kids who don’t get toys for Christmas or have never gotten a toy at all, Santa didn’t want to leave them out. So he worked and worked put himself at the top of every food, charity, hospital, schooling, and clothing operation in the world. In fact, Santa has expanded his empire to almost every product that is made so that he is continually giving “gifts” to every child in the world. What a nice guy.

~ George

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